My Husband Wants to Put His Son First, but I Won’t Let Him Break Our Family Apart

Her stepson had an ulterior motive.

But then, I found out something I wasn’t expecting and it knocked me sideways. My stepson wasn’t just trying to get my husband’s attention for help with his teenage problems. No. He was using these so-called “issues” to try and get his parents back together. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. How could I let this happen? Why wasn’t my husband seeing the manipulation? He was always talking about what his son “needed” without considering how I was feeling.

So, she made a drastic choice of her own.

That’s when I decided enough was enough. I started making plans for our family, without his son. I began planning weekends, dinners, and activities just for us, making it clear that I wouldn’t let my stepson control the situation any longer. But that didn’t work. In fact, it’s gotten worse. His ex is constantly calling about their son’s issues, and my husband won’t believe it’s all manipulation. I’m at my wits’ end. I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but how do I stop this from spiraling out of control? I’m not okay with my husband putting his son’s needs above ours, and I refuse to let this become our new normal.

So, Allie, it looks like you’ve got 2 options:

You can lay down the law or try to remain patient. Either way, you have to do what’s right for you and your marriage.

1. Be brutally honest with your husband.
   If you’re feeling overwhelmed and pushed aside, now’s the time to speak up. Tell your husband exactly how his actions are affecting you and your marriage. You could say, “I understand you want to help your son, but I need you to prioritize our family. I won’t stand by while his issues come before our relationship.” This may feel uncomfortable, but sometimes you have to be direct to get your point across.
2. Let your husband figure it out on his own.
   If you’re not ready to confront your husband, you could step back and let him come to his own conclusions. Allow him to experience the consequences of his actions without interference. In the meantime, continue to focus on your own needs and your marriage, making sure you’re not completely sidelined in the process.

Family challenges can be tough, but setting boundaries and being honest can help rebuild trust. For more on navigating difficult family moments, check out this story about a woman who faced even more chaos after refusing to attend her stepdaughter’s wedding.